The landscape of ambition in the 21st century’s corporate echelons is undergoing a striking metamorphosis, particularly within the burgeoning tech sector. Far from the opulent, hedonistic revelry depicted in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s "The Great Gatsby," where new money princes indulged in lavish parties and intricate romances, today’s aspiring tycoons are charting a starkly different course. Their chosen path to luxury is not one of material excess or romantic entanglement, but rather a monastic purity, a disciplined abstinence from the very pleasures that have historically defined a life of affluence. This radical shift sees young tech founders willingly renouncing sex and romance, channeling every ounce of their energy and focus into the relentless pursuit of building the next technological empire.
For individuals like Mahir Laul, the visionary behind the HR software startup Velric, the vibrant, often chaotic, whirlwind of youthful sex and romance is not merely a low priority; it is an active distraction to be consciously avoided. "There’s two things that I care about the most: the gym and my work," Laul candidly revealed to Business Insider, encapsulating the austere philosophy guiding his daily existence. "I am obsessed with work. My love life is in the gutters." This confession is not an isolated lament but a widespread sentiment echoing through the co-working spaces and venture capital pitches of Silicon Valley. Laul posits that most of his entrepreneurial peers find themselves in precisely the same predicament, trapped by the demanding realities of a lifestyle that leaves virtually no space for romantic pursuits, whether they be casual flings or serious relationships. The ceaseless ping of Slack notifications, the relentless grind of fundraising rounds, and the ever-present pressure to innovate combine to form an insurmountable barrier to conventional dating.
This "opportunity cost" argument is a pervasive theme among this new breed of founders. Annie Liao, the energetic force behind AI education company Build Club, articulated this sentiment with unwavering conviction. "Every night you spent out is time you could have spent building your startup," she explained to Business Insider. Her perspective is not unique; she noted that her San Francisco roommates, also immersed in the startup ecosystem, share an identical outlook. For these future titans of industry, the ubiquitous dating apps that have become a staple of modern courtship are not tools for connection but rather "a big, big distraction" – digital siren calls luring them away from their singular objective. The mental bandwidth required for swiping, messaging, and navigating the complexities of human connection is deemed a precious resource better allocated to coding, strategizing, and scaling.
While many actively eschew romantic entanglements, a distinct subset of founders acknowledges the strategic utility of pre-existing relationships. Those who managed to "paddle into the dating pool" long before their entrepreneurial journey began often find their long-standing partnerships to be an unexpected asset in the cutthroat business world. Yang Fan Yun, cofounder of Composite, a company specializing in AI agents for web browsers, is one such example. Yun shared with Business Insider that he met his current girlfriend early in his academic career at Stanford. Now, deep in "builder mode," he finds his girlfriend to be an invaluable resource, offering assistance with tasks such as product testing. Her presence provides a stable anchor, a source of emotional support, and even a practical helper, allowing him to maintain focus on his venture without the added stress of seeking a partner. This pragmatic approach to relationships, where a partner’s utility to the business is implicitly or explicitly acknowledged, underscores the intensely goal-oriented mindset prevalent in this community. Laul, despite his own romantic struggles, echoed a similar sentiment, albeit with a traditional twist: "You’ve always heard the mentality, ‘behind every successful man, there’s the right woman,’" he mused to BI. "Rather than looking for hookups, I tend to look for someone as a life partner. But it’s been difficult." This highlights a desire for a foundational partnership, but one that must align with and ideally bolster their professional aspirations.
The immense pressure to forge the "next tech unicorn" serves as the primary catalyst for this extreme dedication. The allure of a billion-dollar valuation, the transformative power of groundbreaking technology, and the personal glory associated with creating a market-defining company drive these founders to extraordinary lengths. The journey from nascent idea to industry disruptor is fraught with challenges: securing funding, attracting top talent, navigating intense competition, and enduring countless sleepless nights. The stakes are astronomically high, and the failure rate for startups is notoriously unforgiving. In such an environment, every hour, every ounce of mental energy, and every personal sacrifice is viewed as a necessary investment in the potential for monumental success. This intense, almost cult-like devotion to their ventures fosters an atmosphere where personal life becomes a luxury they simply cannot afford.
This avaricious chastity, however, is not an isolated phenomenon. It is merely one facet of a broader ascetic movement permeating the upper echelons of the tech world, a movement characterized by the deliberate minimization of distractions and the ruthless optimization of personal performance. The same motivations fuel a thriving sober movement among tech founders, where alcohol and other recreational substances are shunned not for moral reasons, but for the sake of peak cognitive function. Sobriety is seen as a hack for mental clarity, sustained focus, and avoiding the debilitating effects of hangovers, thereby maximizing productive hours. Similarly, many embrace a clinical, almost detached relationship to food, opting for optimized meal replacements like Huel or meticulously planned diets. This approach reduces decision fatigue, saves time on meal preparation and consumption, and ensures a consistent intake of nutrients, further enhancing physical and mental performance. These lifestyle choices collectively paint a picture of individuals striving for an almost machine-like efficiency, treating their bodies and minds as finely tuned instruments solely dedicated to their entrepreneurial mission.
Drawing parallels to historical figures or movements, one might observe echoes of monks, philosophers, or even military strategists who embraced forms of asceticism to achieve spiritual enlightenment, intellectual breakthroughs, or strategic victories. The modern tech founder, however, pursues a different kind of "enlightenment" – a material and professional apotheosis. They are the new monastic order, but their deity is the market, and their scripture is the pitch deck.
This extreme lifestyle, while potentially yielding professional success, carries significant psychological and sociological implications. The constant deferral of personal gratification, the relentless pressure, and the deliberate isolation from conventional social and romantic connections can lead to profound loneliness, mental health struggles, and severe burnout. What happens when the unicorn is achieved, but the founder realizes they have sacrificed their youth, their relationships, and perhaps a piece of their humanity in the process? The redefinition of "success" within this paradigm becomes stark: is it purely financial and professional, or does true success encompass a holistic well-being that includes meaningful human connection and personal fulfillment?
Moreover, this trend inevitably impacts the broader dating pool in tech-centric cities. If a significant demographic of ambitious, often financially successful individuals are actively opting out of dating, it creates a unique challenge for those seeking partners within these communities. It fosters a culture where genuine connection might be overshadowed by an unspoken expectation of shared ambition, or where potential partners feel secondary to an all-consuming career. It also reinforces the "tech bro" stereotype – a singular, often self-absorbed focus on wealth and power, sometimes at the expense of social graces, emotional intelligence, or a broader appreciation for life’s non-monetary richness.
The article’s poignant concluding question – "if this is what the good life looks like, then what’s the point?" – resonates deeply. This calculated pursuit of wealth and status, marked by the abandonment of simple pleasures and fundamental human connections, raises an existential query for those observing from the periphery. Is this a sustainable model for human flourishing? Can genuine fulfillment be found in such a narrow, relentlessly optimized existence? Or does it ultimately lead to a hollow victory, a golden cage built on the foundations of self-denial? The tech world, with its promises of innovation and progress, seems to be inadvertently creating a new form of servitude, where the masters of technology become slaves to their own ambition. It remains to be seen whether this austere path will indeed lead to unprecedented heights of achievement, or if the human cost will ultimately prove too great, prompting a reevaluation of what truly constitutes a "good life" in the age of digital dominance.

